A Declaration On Doing More Better

Several years ago I decided to take a class called The Declaration of You with artist Jessica Swift and career coach Michelle Ward to help me figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Sadly, and to absolutely no fault of theirs (because they are amazing), I really didn't get anything out of it. Here's why... for a really long time I haven't really understood what or whom I wanted to be (or as a microcosm of this issue... what this blog is about).

On the one hand, I'm incredibly lucky/blessed to have a relatively stable 8+ year career in corporate public relations which has moved me around the country and afforded me a comfortable lifestyle for a practical chick.

On the other hand, I've always dabbled in the creative arts, and I absolutely love having many creative outlets. I started this blog during my first year in the corporate world when I really just wanted to share the doodles I was creating during long teleconferences with my family and friends.

My struggle has always been that these two things have often felt at odds. I have "work me" and "artsy/doodling/sewing/whatever me." I don't really aspire to quit my day job, but I also always feel like I should be doing MORE with my so-called hobbies. And my definition of "more" is very murky...

"Work me" = Peggy Olson... at least in my head

This has been causing me particular stress lately because, for probably the first time, I feel like I've actually been getting a tiny tiny bit of traction in various forums as a result of some of the classes I've taken  (1 contest win, 1 Spoonflower sale and 130 new Instagram followers to be exact). Suddenly, I feel this urgent and possibly ridiculous need to capitalize on this tiny tiny bit of momentum or god forbid I miss my chance to do "more."

However, because of my real-life job, I've always had a somewhat time-constrained approach to my creative output. I try things, some turn out ok, some are weird hot messes, some could be better if I actually practiced... and I've always posted all of it, you know, just because. If you look back through this blog you can see what I mean. It's a bit all over the place. And all of this new overthinking has made me feel like none of it is good enough.

I honestly don't know where I'm going with all of this except to say that after some long, hard thinking I've realized: 1. that I really want to do better. I want to practice and take more classes, I want to take less crappy photos, and I want to make things that people really like, and 2. I also want to embrace (and hope others are interested in following) this process I've been going through.

I think there are a lot of people out there like me, trying to do "more" with their hobbies while balancing a full time career (or family, or whatever). I just want to be open and honest about how that's going for me (even when I don't have the time/energy to take perfectly styled photos).

"Doing more better" could be making money, attracting more followers/readers, or just feeling fulfilled.... I haven't figured it out what the actual goal is yet, and it honestly doesn't matter, but I just hope some people will find this mishmash inspiring and join me in my sometimes sloppy/misdirected/messy efforts to doing more... better.